Kashin In: The Three Ain’t Enough I Need 5:15 Edition (11-30-2015)

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Hello everyone and welcome to another installment of Ka$hin in with Keila Ca$h. Tonight’s episode of Raw emanated from the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. There is no need to sugarcoat things. WWE is in a creative funk. It’s been this way since after Summerslam. At least we had good wrestling to numb the pain ever so slightly in the interim. Even that is hard to find now with so many talented wrestlers on the shelf due to injury. Add in the questionable booking and we have a giant mess that doesn’t appear fixable any time soon unless the Powers That Be wake up and smell the damn coffee. Did something meaningful happen on tonight’s show that gave fans a reason to invest in The Roman Reigns Story as he scratches and claws his way back to championship glory? The answer to that question can be found throughout this blog. Without further ado, let’s dissect tonight’s episode of Raw in no particular order.

• Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston fusing together to create the Sheamus Fella pose was very creative and hilarious.

• I am so happy that The New Day have reconciled with Sheamus after they ditched him during their Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match two weeks ago.

• Sheamus looks pretty good with the slicked back Mohawk. I have a soft spot for sharp dressed men. This concludes the fashion portion of Ka$hin In. We now return to regularly scheduled blogging.

• There should be a disclaimer on all celebrations involving a confetti shower. It doesn’t end well for the victor. Sheamus learned that lesson firsthand when he got Superman Punched by Roman Reigns. On top of that, Reigns walked away with the championship belt as the opening segment came to an end. I am sure Sheamus will beg and plead to get it back later in the show. That’s how these stolen possession disputes tend to shake out.

• This was a harmless way to kick off Raw. The New Day brought the funny. Sheamus did a nice job as the gloating champion. Reigns played the role of party crasher to perfection. It sure as hell beats The Authority droning on endlessly about missed opportunities and Sheamus kissing some corporate ass.

• That was a cute stipulation by implementing the 5:15 rule for Reigns. Stephanie McMahon told Reigns that the only way he could win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship was to beat Sheamus under 5:15. Can Reigns beat the clock or will there be outside interference to thwart his chances once again? We shall see.

• Well, well, well. Rusev and Lana are back together for the first time since news broke of the engagement on TMZ last month. Miz TV might be newsworthy for a change considering the alleged backstage heat on Lana. That’s the word on the internet street, but we know the streets aren’t made for everyone. Just ask Cookie Lyon.

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• The face sucking session between Rusev and Lana was awkward. I am sure they exaggerated things for the camera, but that kiss left me less eager to see another make out session between them in the future.

• There is now a double jeopardy scenario hanging over Reigns’ WWE World Heavyweight Title match against Sheamus as he must win in under 5:15 or Dean Ambrose will lose his opportunity to face Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship at TLC in a couple of weeks. The plot thickens and it does leave room for anything to happen if the stakes are this high.

• Very nice surprise. It’s great to see Tommy Dreamer again.

• The Dudley Boyz were finally used effectively for a change and Bubba Ray is so underrated as a promo guy that it’s not even funny. Despite how badly The Wyatt Family and Dudleys have been beaten like a drum due to bad booking, it’s nice to see a straight up rivalry with old school meeting new school. The outcome is obvious with The Wyatt Family needing the win more after losing to The Undertaker and Kane at Survivor Series. If anyone can give them some much needed shine, it’s the Dudley Boyz and Dreamer.

• Now it’s Triple Jeopardy. The odds are stacked against Reigns as he was to win for his best friend and The Usos in order for them to keep their Tag Team Title shot at TLC against The Lucha Dragons and The New Day. It seems as if WWE is telegraphing a shock title change.

• The WWE marketing team has already made a t-shirt for Sheamus with the 5:15 reference. Nice spoof on Austin 3:16.

• When did Alberto Del Rio become a member of the European Coalition? I guess that whole Mex America thing has been tossed to the wayside.

• The League of Nations. It has a nice ring to it. Let’s hope Barrett, Del Rio, and Rusev are booked like badasses instead of bunch of wimps.

• I guess Ambrose and The Usos will keep their title shot opportunities at TLC. This renders the entire 5:15 stipulation pointless and a waste of time. Plus, it happened at the top of the third hour. What a way to make the championship seem absolutely inconsequential if the title match can’t headline Raw. That speaks volumes.

• Charlotte just pulled a page from the Ric Flair’s Dirtiest Player in the Game Playbook. If they intend to turn Charlotte heel, I’m all for it. I don’t want her to be a carbon copy of her father by copying his mannerisms, but I do want her to have his mean streak of being a heel who is not above cheating to get her way. I think she would be much more effective in that role even though this whole thing makes Paige seem like a babyface who was telling the truth the whole time. That muddies the waters a bit considering these two are set to face each other at TLC when a clear face-heel dynamic was already set in stone. Maybe WWE called an audible, but I would like for this entire thing to be sorted out in order for somebody to get over in a meaningful way.

• At least Charlotte chalked up her cheating to being good strategy to toughen Becky Lynch up for the big leagues. She seemed sincere, but if Paige continues to get in Lynch’s eat about how devious Charlotte is, The Divas Champion should not be surprised when her remaining best friend betrays her. Just saying…

• It appears The Astrology Hour featuring Stardust and Titus O’Neil is becoming a regular thing.

• So, Xavier Woods is now Kofi Kingston according to JBL. Is he blind or dumb? I pick both.

• The main event was fine. The numbers game clearly got the best of the babyface team as Jimmy Uso had to leave the match early due to a knee injury. It appears that Jimmy has taken a backseat to his brother as of late. Jimmy is more charismatic than Jey in my estimation. I suppose WWE is giving the latter Uso a chance to shine to see if he can make it on his own someday. The verdict is still out, but I miss Jimmy in big time situations because he brings so much energy to his matches.

• Ambrose gave it a valiant effort, but he ate a Brogue Kick for his troubles as Sheamus picked up the win for his team. After the match was over. The New Day and League of Nations put the boots to Reigns, Ambrose, and Jey Uso which enabled the heels to stand tall as Raw went off the air. The ending put over the heels, but does anyone care from an emotional standpoint? Will fans care about Reigns taking down the evil heels that continue to put the screws to him? Those are the things that stick out in terms of storytelling which allows us to care about the end game.

• Based on the feud trajectory so far, I am finding it hard to invest in the Roman Reigns story because it feels like such of retread of Daniel Bryan’s saga from a couple of years ago. One cannot manufacture something that happened organically. It only leads to diminishing returns which have become very apparent in the post-Attitude Era when it comes to babyfaces facing off against heel authority figures. As I mentioned last week, it can work if the formula is tweaked properly. If not, we get a carbon copy that’s okay at best. With ratings hitting record lows, the time to play it safe is not going to work. It might be time to blow things up in order to create true change. I get the feeling that WWE doesn’t have the balls to do it, though.

• Overall, I thought this was a very disappointing episode of Raw. This show was built on breadcrumbs. We got morsels of good, but the in-ring work was very disappointing. Outside of the main event, no matches stood out as being good. Some bouts ended via double disqualification or no contest. The most damning thing about the broadcast is that certain wrestlers had to double or triple duty. This reveals how thin the roster is and WWE’s refusal to build new stars and take risks. You have to take a gamble and stop doing the same old shit.

• The basics of booking professional wrestling should not be thrown away. The presentation of the product must be overhauled. It’s antiquated and the start-stop pushes of certain wrestlers have done more harm than good. Add in the injuries that have gutted the roster in recent weeks and we have the perfect recipe for disaster. Can WWE get out of this funk and try something fresh and exciting? The League of Nations faction is a good idea, but those stars need a lot of rehabbing in order for people to care. It’s not going to happen overnight, but that’s what they get for digging such a big hole that’s hard to climb out of.

• Side note: I am trying my best not to pile on the babyfaces, but where the hell was Kevin Owens during the main event? He does have a match against Ambrose for the IC Title at TLC and I think he would have been a nice addition to the League of Nations team because it would have given them some much need creditability star power in the form of Owens who is a legit heel who is not out to get cheered. It’s the little things that could mean so much from a big picture standpoint. Oh well…

On that note, this wraps up another edition of Ka$hin In with Keila Ca$h. I hope you enjoyed it and I will be back next week with a brand new blog. I shall leave you with “A Moment with the Golden Girls.” See you later, boys and girls!

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